Monuments

We all have Rites of Spring, signals and traditions that mark the changing of the season, the lengthening of days, and blooming of flowers. Anybody who knows me will attest that, in recent years, my Rites of Spring have been Rides of Spring and have focused on the bike.

If you've been hanging around here at all, I've been rambling, ad nauseum, about weird bike races over cobbled roads in Northern Europe. These are races that are beautifully brutal, where riders typically finish covered in mud and with distant stares, wondering how or why in the world they just did what they did. Parlance refers to them as Monuments, and the Queen of them all, is coming this weekend. Predating my bike obsession, however, is another tradition that has marked Spring for me, one "like no other," to quote a slogan. Instead of mud and suffering, it is marked by beautiful flowers, quiet claps, the occasional roar on Sunday, and Southern charm.

Like Paris-Roubaix, the Masters is a Monument (arguable THE Monument) of its sport. Happily, both will be contested this weekend. Both have quirks and traditions that make them not just different, but one-of-a-kind. Both keep me inside staring at screen on beautiful days when I could or should be outside. Both typically leave me gasping at the skill and artistry of the competitors. Both send me outside immediately afterwards to feebly try to replicate that artistry. Both are beautiful for completely different (and somewhat opposing) reasons. Here follows a quick list of what makes these events so different and yet so similar.


Terrain/Setting
Pavé vs. Azaleas

Check your fillings before and after

It's not Heaven. Just Augusta.

Mud and dust vs. Perfect, PERFECT green grass

Chaos vs.  Total Control

Decisive Challenge


Arenberg Forest vs. Amen Corner

The faint of heart need not enter

Ditto

Endgames


The Velodrome vs. The uphill Par 4 18th

After all the jarring from the cobbles, you still have to outsprint somebody on the slick embankment

No biggie. You just have to stroke one last drive. Uphill. Between the trees. And avoid the bunkers

Iconic Winners


Nicklaus, Palmer, Hogan, Snead, Player, Watson, Woods and Mickelson vs. Coppi, De Vlaeminck, Merckx, Museeuw, Moser, Kelly, Ballerini, Boonen, and the Man Crush


Awesome, weird trophies


The Cobblestone vs. The Green Jacket

The Man Crush has an intimate moment after last year's win

Jack slips on #6(!) after his historic run in 1986

There's probably a thousand more dichotomies that I'm missing. Suffice it to say that I love, LOVE these events. As far as picks go, I can't decide between the logical pick, the one I want to win, and the one lurking in the periphery, ready to strike. So, we're gonna pick all three:

Paris-Roubaix:
Head: Man Crush
Heart: Main Man George
Dark Horse: The God of Thunder

Masters:
Head: Phil
Heart: Dusty Roads (two close calls in majors last year (especially the heartbreaker at Whistling Straits) have me pulling hard for the kid)
Dark Horse: Bubba


One thing is for sure: expect the unexpected. Enjoy this weekend, folks!!!